Managing holiday anxiety in children
Holidays are a busy time. Parents are rushing around to get the house in order for visiting guests, there are long grocery lists, even longer shopping lists, more travel, and bigger crowds everywhere you go.
As parents, it’s easy to assume that presents, colorful lights, and Santa Claus can drown out the chaos of holiday prep. But these busy weeks might actually be one of the most stimulating times for children to manage, especially if they’re uncomfortable with the many additional stimulants that this season introduces.
What is holiday anxiety?
It involves feeling stressed, worried, and panicky about the oncoming festive season and the preparation, social interaction, and change that comes with it. Holiday anxiety is real, and it’s becoming an even bigger concern considering the drastic change of pace that this year may see compared to what it’s been for the past two years.
How to look out for holiday anxiety
The holidays introduce a lot more unfamiliarity and inconsistency to a child’s daily routine and expectations. For children with depression, anxiety, or behavioral disorders, holiday activities can evoke discomfort, fear, and even a sense of self-depreciation and excessive comparison with their peers.
The same goes for children who are more introverted or sensitive to environmental changes.
A few common scenarios that may induce holiday anxiety are:
Gift-giving (worrying about the presents they’ll get, comparing their presents with others, and wondering if they’ll be on a ‘naughty or nice’ list)
Overwhelmingly large crowds and loud noises at shopping malls, parades, and parties
Higher volumes of social interaction with unfamiliar people
Exhaustion from packed itineraries and travel plans
Irregular schedules for eating, sleeping, as well as physical and mental activity
As you can see, holiday stress can come in many different forms. We know it’s difficult to change your plans or omit these activities completely. But what you can do is identify discomfort in your children by catching sudden or unusual changes in behavior.
The Boston Children’s Hospital outlines the following as indicators of holiday anxiety in children:
Frequent tantrums and outbursts of irritation
Higher levels of attachment and separation anxiety
Homesickness
Heightened concern about following sick
concern about getting sick
Isolation during holiday gatherings and an eagerness to head home
Less excitement about things they usually enjoy
Six tips for managing holiday anxiety
Holiday anxiety may not be completely avoidable, but it can be overcome with small, consistent steps. Here are a few actions and reminders recommended by experts for parents and caretakers to calm children down and set healthy boundaries for rest and mindfulness.
Initiate an open conversation about holiday expectations
The American Psychological Association advises parents to be upfront with their children about the different traditions and holiday routines celebrated at this time of year. This helps kids understand that holiday gatherings, food, and gift-giving don’t look the same for each household. It teaches children to respect and appreciate every family’s traditions, and it also removes the need to compare gifts and celebrations as an indicator of love or good behavior.
Be honest with your children about setting expectations for the holiday season. This can include basic routines and attitudes for upholding the quality of school work, time spent with family, playtime, and gift requests. Don’t be afraid to say no and to address false assumptions your children may have about the holidays. This level of openness and honesty gives you and your children a space to discuss deal-breakers and compromise on certain things.Maintain your healthy habits
The long days, late nights, filled dinner tables, and abundance of snacks and desserts — if that doesn’t sum up the holiday season, then what does?
But no. Really. It’s true!
And while all of these are definitely perks to reward your children with, it’s also important to practice moderation and balance. It can be tempting to allow them to sleep in, spend the day in front of the TV or computer, and snack while you entertain guests or run holiday errands. But a lack of physical activity and mealtime boundaries can make your kids feel lethargic, exhausted, and uncomfortable.
Even if it’s just a few minutes every couple of hours, schedule time to go for a walk or play outside. Getting up and moving around can reduce can help kids get rid of the discomfort that may come from heavier or sweeter foods — which can result in high irritability, exhaustion, and impatience. To make things even more exciting, you can even get the rest of your family involved in an outdoor holiday activity or game.Be prepared to support children through changes in their everyday routines
A sudden change in routine can throw anyone off. Your children may be used to getting up at a certain time for breakfast and having dedicated time to play, read, and make art. This routine adds certainty and comfort to their day, and it may be something they look forward to as soon as they get up.
But the holidays can understandably throw a wrench in this routine. Instead of springing a jam-packed schedule on your children, communicate these changes with them in advance. Use this time to find out which routines have the biggest effects on their moods and energy levels. From there, you can take steps to integrate their biggest expectations into your itinerary.
For example, if you know your child enjoys reading or drawing each day, you can pack a book and art supplies with you so they can still enjoy those activities at a suitable time.Get your children involved
As adults, we’re often running around with a holiday checklist of items that we need to do to make family members and friends happy. Sometimes, we might be so preoccupied with this checklist that it isolates our children from holiday festivities.
According to Very Well Family, big kids love helping their parents and family members at this time of year, especially if they get praise and affirmations for being helpful. You could ask them to help you pick out certain items from the store or put up decorations around the house. Keeping them occupied and involved distracts them from any unnecessary worry and stress. It also builds their confidence and self-esteem when they feel like they can be relied on and are contributing to the joyful environment around them.Give back to the community
A great way for anyone to feel genuinely happy and more connected with others is by giving back to friends, family, and the community. It’s necessary to show your kids from a young age that the holidays aren’t just a time for us to think about ourselves and what we want.
You can spend your holiday season donating food and unused items to charities and community centers. You could also help local organizations get gifts for underprivileged kids and families.
Show your children that the holidays are about supporting the people around you and sharing love with others beyond just family and friends. This act of giving and sharing joy is one of the best ways to remove feelings of hostility, isolation, and anger.Take a deep breath, laugh, and let go
Finally, a big tip we want to share today is meant for parents!
We know it’s stressful and overwhelming planning festivities for the family. But don’t let the stress ruin your mood and excitement. When you’re angry and agitated, your children can see it too, and it gives them more reason to feel the same way. Negativity spreads easily and creates a stressful environment at home where nobody listens to each other or talks to each other.
Be open to the fact that things will not always go as planned. Laugh off little mistakes, take a breather, and don’t forget to hug your children and let them know how happy you are to be with them during the holidays!
A little act of love will go a long way this time of year. From all of us here at My Good Brain, we hope you have a great holiday with your loved ones 💜
